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November 15, 2023Dear Parishioners,
This coming week we celebrate the American holiday of Thanksgiving. While not a Catholic holy day, from its inception, Thanksgiving has clearly centered on the profoundly Christian themes of gratitude, generosity, family and faith. Even with the incredible cultural differences that separated them, when the European Settlers and Native Americans came together for the first Thanksgiving they were in agreement that life and the good things we receive in this life are a gift from the Creator, and we should express our thankfulness for these blessings rather than taking them for granted.
In recent years, we have seen an eroding of the observance of Thanksgiving in favor of the more secular and individual-oriented Halloween. Halloween feels more comfortable to many people: rather than sit around a table with relatives that they don’t choose, they can put on masks and go where they like with who they like. We’ve seen a lot of commentary in recent years justifying the abandonment of the family table at Thanksgiving because it can involve a lot of interpersonal drama and conflict. Rather than a gathering anticipated with excitement, many have spoken about feelings of dread as the day approaches. And they’ve decided that it’s not worth it – not worth the anxiety, stress, or effort.
It can be difficult to navigate all the different religious beliefs, political affiliations and lifestyle choices that come to the fore at a family gathering. And yes, there is a certain amount of effort and attentiveness that such gatherings require. But I think the abandonment of traditional family gatherings such as Thanksgiving begs the question: “What kind of a society, what kind of families will we be if we are no longer willing to face these relational challenges?” What would this unwillingness say about us and about what we think is important in life?
If we understand that this world is meant to be a training ground for love - how to give and to receive it selflessly and generously – then we need not dread the challenges we encounter in loving, but can see in them an opportunity to get better at it. Our concerns, as we anticipate a family gathering, are things we can bring to prayer and to discuss with Jesus. He told us we will be able to love our enemies if we follow him, so he certainly will be able to help us to love our family members gathered around a table. Rather than dread the possible points of disagreement, we can ask him to show us the possible points of grace: the areas where he desires to bring us together with one another, nurturing forgiveness, goodwill, generosity, trust, and peace. Thanksgiving is an opportunity to grow in our capacity to love with wisdom, patience, prudence, gentleness and compassion. It is an opportunity to become better Christians: better at following the example of Jesus Christ, who was happy to sit at table with his apostles even with all their bickering and betrayals. The Last Supper was not a perfect supper. But as Jesus sat down with the twelve – aware of all their struggles and failures and weaknesses - he told them “I have eagerly desired to eat this meal with you.” (Luke 22:15).
